We always desire to approach our lives with balance, composure and serenity. We look for a world wherein our children live a life filled with happiness, compassion and tranquillity. Where their thoughts, actions and words echo nothing but sheer euphoria for life… where there is no rage, disappointment and heart break. The question then is- Is this always possible? As parents and educators our biggest goal is to prepare our children to face challenges so that they embody equanimity through the toughest situations because life is unpredictable.
In a fast paced world, with technology shrinking the world like never before, it is imperative for us to embrace anger, love, frustration, patience, sorrow and joy. We need to be mindful of our actions and words. Of course, it is impossible to not be annoyed when your five year old refuses to let you take that much loved (and deserved!) afternoon nap. Or your ten year old refuses to see why she cannot wear a particular dress to a party although; you have something that you think is more ‘appropriate’. Or why your three year old stomps his feet and wails morning after morning because he does not want to brush his teeth! In these circumstances, it is impossible to be able to stay calm and not shout. However, a little thought to our actions will lead us to understand that our anger and frustration is not really a solution to the problem. For instance, the three year old who hates the mundane routine of brushing in the morning, a story about how germs are attacking his mouth and he needs to rescue his teeth, might work wonders! (It really works!)
Our approach is our solution to our problems.
At times, it is wonderful to sit back and reflect - Can it be fixed? It may be worthwhile to not waste our energy getting upset and remind ourselves that it is alright for everything to not be perfect. When a child spills milk - Am I going to be frustrated and angry or am I going to offer a towel and help clean the spilled milk? A wise choice will mean a happy, calm you and a clean floor!
Equanimity is possible when our mind and our thoughts help us to ascertain that our life is not always going to be conditioned to a ruffle free existence but will have its moments, its ups and downs. The next time you feel livid, disappointed and perturbed, take a deep breath and reflect.
Once we learn to adjust our sails, learn to surf, we won’t be tossed around by the storm!